Matlock Expressway

Well just in case you were sitting on the edge of your seats wondering where I'd got to this weekend, I ended up in Matlock. Finally. After attempting and intending several times. Not that it was really worth the travelling. The journey there was nice enough - gorgeous weather and lovely scenery once we'd got out of the Manchester 'burbs - but the destination was disappointing. Firstly, I'd forgotten that Matlock and Matlock Bath are two separate places and that Matlock Bath was the place I really wanted to be. So inevitably I got off the bus in the wrong place. A short bus hop put me back on track but oh dear. I was expecting a pretty town with quaint tea shops and olde worlde houses but got Blackpool without the sea. Every eating establishment was a fish & chip shop with one or two exceptions - cafes that mind bogglingly didn't sell sandwiches (is Matlock Bath the town that sandwiches forgot?). The other buildings were mostly amusement arcades and tacky gift shops.

I did manage to go up the Heights of Abraham though - a cable car ride up a bloody big cliff with touristy stuff at the top. I drooled over the prospect of a scone with jam & clotted cream on offer at the cafe but decided to work up to it by going up the Prospect Tower (a view point/tower with pant-wettingly scary narrow stone steps) first to get a look at the views and take pics. And then despite my brush with death there I decided to push my luck and my claustrophobia by taking a guided tour round one of the lead mines nearby. We were warned that some of the tunnels were low (about 5'4") and the floors were wet and slippy and that there were 160 steps to climb so I very nearly bottled it and escaped after the introductory film. Foolhardiness got the better of me though and I carried on. It was lovely and cool but, as warned, a bit of a death-trap. I slipped twice and bumped my head at least once. My claustrophobia came out in force though which was the worst thing. I don't mind the odd bit of bending over (steady on you dirty beggars) as long as its very brief but one tunnel leading up to the Great Masson cave was continuously low. And it scared the shit out of me. I was shaking by the time I got through. The big caves were worth the trauma though - very awe inspiring. I know I should feel proud of myself for facing my fear and getting through it but I don't think I am. Its not like I'm suddenly cured or anything. I know I'll feel exactly the same if I have to do it again. And I missed out on my scone too as by the time we came out It was nearly time for my bus. Pooh!

Next time I'll stop at Bakewell which seemed much more my sort of town. Plenty of tarts on offer.

Oh really....