Am I boring?

I was invited to a Halloween party tonight. I'd got my outfit planned. I was going to go with a costume that required little effort - black clothes and a blonde wig, I was going as Yvette Fielding - but the wig I'd snaffled from the theatre didn't look right. I was also going to persuade my friend Martin to go as Derek Acorah and had picked out a suitable wig for him but he didn't reply to the text message to say that he was going. So I changed my mind and decided to go as Margaret Slitheen wearing a skirt suit teamed with a whoopee cushion and a zip stuck to my head. But I didn't know where to get some spirit glue/gum to stick the zip on with or a whoopee cushion and with all the effort of thinking I decided not to bother with a costume at all. Then I decided I couldn't be bothered travelling to my friend's house and back on public transport and that they'd just be getting as trashed as possible while I sat there nursing the same bottle of Leffe all night so I sacked the whole thing off completely. I'm going to watch all my tv programmes I've recorded with a bottle of beer and munch my way though some crisps and a bag of Maltesers.

Who says I don't know how to have a good time?