Speechless

I've been a bit speechless this week thanks to the events of last weekend. I've only just recovered & got round to picking up my email let alone report on my blog.

So despite the best efforts of Northern Rail to scupper my attempt to get to Manchester Airport on time I did manage to get my flight and arrive at my Heathrow hotel safely on Friday afternoon. After an hour or so unpacking, popping down to the con venue to register & back again to change into my girly flirty dress & heels I arrived at the con venue for the cocktail party that would be graced by the delicious Ms Tapping herself. I nervously managed to down a white wine spritzer before we were ushered into the room (well, I thought a pint of lager would've looked a bit out of place) and sat myself at my allocated table. I didn't know anyone, hence the nervousness. There followed brief introductions with the other ladies on my table and I at least managed to keep a healthy conversation going with a very nice woman called Stephanie who was sat next to me. That's no small feat for me, I can tell you. I'm not the chattiest person in the world anyway but with complete strangers I'm even worse. Then came the hot fork buffet which consisted of salad, mini quiches, lasagne, curry, pasta, rice and..... and......

..a chocolate fountain.

With strawberries to dip in.

Once Amanda arrived & started circulating I didn't know where to look. In one direction the lovely Amanda in another chocolate, smooth, dripping, oozing chocolate.... oooooh Amanda...... mmmmmm chocolate.... ooooh Amanda etc I never felt such empathy for Homer Simpson before. Or the Vicar of Dibley.

When she got to our table Amanda sat next to me. We chatted about Panto, we brushed elbows, she put her hand on my back for the group photo, oh I was in heaven. What a lovely way to spend an evening. *sigh*

All too soon it was over & I toddled off back to my hotel. Still, more was to come the next day. There were a couple of talks she gave in which she professed her love for Little Britain and told us of her trip to the set of Coronation Street (her favourite programme). She was in Manchester!!!! Where the hell was I? Oh yeah, in a dull office in Chorley. Whoopee. I had my photo taken with her. Didn't chat a huge amount as I was too star struck. I'd planned to go to the orange themed disco that night but since I didn't have anything orange to wear and since my dear friends were gathering in the not too distant Crystal Palace I decided to ditch the con and wend my way to the other side of London to spend time in the company of people I actually knew (hello Lee!). And what a welcome I received. Such a contrast to the con where I just kind of faded into the background. I joined them in beer and curry and a saucy cabaret at a nearby pub. Oh and not forgetting fingering Lee's dry Croft and it leaving a funny aftertaste in my mouth. Sadly I had to leave fairly early to get back to Heathrow again but I had a silly grin on my face the whole way remembering such songs as "What are we going to do with Billie Piper?" and the trial of Mrs Dolly Goodhusband nee Mixture.

It was pretty much more of the same the next day with me getting Amanda's autograph instead of having my photo taken. Until the afternoon when we all took part in the maddest thing ever. I shouldn't really be giving out details as we don't want someone to usurp us but I can say that we broke not one but two world records. The con organisers had bought boxes of a certain chocolate bar and were randomly giving them out until one bright spark told them that there was a world record for stretching said bars. So somehow they managed to fly down an official adjudicator that day to watch rather alot of us breaking the record. One young lady also broke the record for the longest. How she managed to do it in the allotted time I'll never know. And does her mother want to know how she aquired such skills with her fingers? Hmmm? The amount of innuendo bandied between the adjudicator & Amanda was incredible and hilarious. "You have to squeeze it & pull it." "For how long?" "What position do I need to be in?" "On your knees will be fine." "Do I have to do it on my own or with a partner?" You get the idea. Mucky sods. There was chocolate everywhere. I could repeat my fisting party joke from a few months ago but I shan't.

Part 2 to follow as this is taking longer than I thought.