Fly me to the moon

Please. Had a rotten couple of days this week. This is going to seem so trivial to other people but I'm really pissed off with my family. We'd talked about going to see Casino Royale together, the three of us. Make a note of those words... TOGETHER.....THREE. I didn't hear anything more about it for a while then this Monday I was off work and it seems that Bro had forgotten I said I was off. He'd only gone and arranged with Mum to see CR on Monday. WHEN HE THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE AT WORK!!! Only he got caught out didn't he? So when he realised I wasn't in work he knocked on my bedroom door and said he and mum were going to see CR and did I want to come? I told him I wasn't ready (I'd just got out of the shower) and had things to do anyway. What a fucking pair of twats. They *knew* I wanted to go and see it with them and they arranged to go without me! C**ts.

If that was an isolated incident I would have said something to them and got over it but it really isn't. Its just the latest in a long, long list of c**ty things they've done to me. You kind of expect twelve year olds to do this to each other, but not adults FFS. What the fuck have I done to deserve that?

I got upset. Really upset. I know some of you reading this are going to think I'm being stupid but really this is only the tip of an iceberg that stretches back a few years. I think its more my Bro that's doing it actually. Especially since a simliar thing is happening with a couple of his mates. They used to occasionally invite me to stuff, just to the pub or if they were having a bit of a day out, not blokey nights or anything like that. Suddenly they've stopped inviting me to anything. I might see them if they come round here for a night in but that's it. Nothing's happened. There's been no row or anything, I still get on with them, they don't treat me any differently, there's no awkwardness as if I'd done or said anything to offend that I wasn't aware of. Just over. Not that I depend on them for a social life or anything. And they're his mates when all's said and done but WTF?

And various stuff with my mum, arranging for days out when he's off and I'm at work. Which wouldn't be a bother really, we all do stuff seperately from one of the others sometimes. But sometimes I've said I've wanted to go with them and I get fucking lame excuses. They arrange to go out on a day when I'm at work and say "Oh well, you were at work..." and so many times I've said. "Yes but if you let me know, I can book a day's holiday." and still they do it.

Once they actually let me go with them. I thought the world was going to implode. It didn't but mum spent the entire time doing this really fucking annoying thing where she sucks her teeth which she knows damn well fucking annoys me, presumably so that I'd have such a miserable fucking time that I wouldn't want to go with them again. (And no, she doesn't do it all the time - just when she wants rid of me. Does she really think I'm that fucking stupid?)

Even on the odd weekend away its the same thing. She'll ask what I want to do so I'll say something but then its "Oh well, you go and do that on your own & we'll do something else." Or, get this, a few years ago we arranged a trip to London for around my birthday and they wanted me to pick a show to watch. So I suggested a couple. They picked something completely different that I hadn't even expressed an interest in but which they wanted to watch. So what was the fucking point of asking me then? And sorry, who's birthday was it again?

And then there's restaurants. I'll be asked to suggest something but then nothing I suggest is good enough. There's always some reason why they don't want to go there. There's a post on here somewhere where I'm astounded that they agreed to go somewhere I picked & then actually liked it. I often feel that they'd rather I wasn't around. So they can be happy as larry together and all their problems will magically disappear because I won't be there to cause them. And alot of the time I feel like just fucking off and leaving them to it. If it weren't for a lack of money I'd have done it by now. I'm sure I'd be a saner, happier person for it.