Good evening Bolton. Can we have your votes please?

Liz - Nice little poppy song, lyrics a bit bland but quite catchy. Reminded me of Dusty Springfield a bit. What the fuck was she wearing though? 7 points (sept points)

Brian - Oh dear. Good song but as Captain Jack said it was pitched too high for him. It'd be Gemini all over again. 2 points (deux points)

Big Bruvaz - Great song, the girls had fantastic voices. I was surprised at how much I liked it. Don't think its a Eurovision song though, sorry. 8 points (ouit points)

Cyndi - A bit flat to start with but it soon picked up. Nice power ballad. I'm not normally into such things but I can actually see this one winning for us. And Captain Jack had it right again. She might get us some French votes. 10 points (dix points)

Scooch - Fucking hilarious. Would you like something to suck for landing sir? 12 points (douze points)

Hawkins and Brown - Absolutely atrocious. Too shrill, tune all over the place. Awful! No points (nul points)

And that concludes the voting for the Bolton jury.

Oh, by the way, Mel G you're such a Eurovish geek. Love you. And your silly hat.