Lezbe friends

I was privelidged enough to be invited out for tea on Friday night with a couple of the women from work. They were meeting up with some woman they used to work with and my boss, J, asked me if I'd like to go too. Hurrah! So of course I said yes. Any excuse to be in her company...

A & I arrived first and being the shy & retiring types we are we spent it in a slightly awkward silence punctuated by giggling at the dubious clientele and the dodgy music. We were in a pub my aunty used to live next door to many moons ago and which had recently had a refit to transform it from an old mans pub to a bit of a gastro pub type thing. The result was somewhere between the two but it was still nice. The chattier ones arrived and soon we were tucking into our food which was actually quite good. Oh and wine. Lets not forget the wine. K is usually quite chatty in the office but she outdid herself especially when in the company of V. It was like they were having a competition to see who could be the most outrageous. Thank god the waiter had a sense of humour. We must have been a sight. K & V laughing like drains while myself, J and A sat with our heads in our hands in shame. Then the karaoke started up. More wine was consumed. Knowing that I'm involved in the theatre my chums persuaded me to sing. Not that it took much persuading at that point. So one 'Look at me I'm Sandra Dee' later they were all cooing over me saying what a good singer I was. More wine followed.

Now I'd just like to point out that the lady running the karaoke was, well, eccentric to say the least. Body of a fiftysomething who kept chiming in between songs with her own singing akin to that of a 20 year old. And then she got her tambourine out.

No that's not a euphemism.

The conversation turned to men and K asked me "So what type of boys do you like?" which made my boss choke on her drink. So me being of the carpet munching persuasion I fudged it a bit and said I didn't really have a type but that I used to like men with cheekbones like John Taylor from Duran Duran. That's not a lie btw. I did used to have a thing for Mr Taylor. 20 years ago. My boss's reaction made me think she'd twigged that I was a todger dodger.

They sang a song. K doing lead (she's a bit of a karaoke hog by all accounts) and J & V doing backing vocals. I don't remember which song. Then I did 'Perfect' by Fairground Attraction. More wine, more conversation. My boss commented that I had really pretty eyes & then ruined it by saying, "Not that I'm being lesbian or anything...". Protesting too much? I wish. A jokingly said, "She fancies you!". Again, I wish.

More wine, more singing with me doing my Bjork impression. 'Its oh so quiet'. Yeah, fat chance. K and A disappeared off for a crafty fag and J asked me if I had a boyfriend. No I didn't. Was I not interested? No I wasn't. "Ah yeah they're a waste of space sometimes aren't they?" And the award for completely missing the point goes to...

I think that next time we go out I need to wear one of those subtly witty t-shirts you can get that says 'Hello, I'm a big lez!'. Maybe she'd get it then.

We eventually staggered drunkenly out, a couple of the patrons congratulating me on my singing. Even the DJ lady name checked me at the end. Feeling like a rock star or what? K's other half picked us up and on dropping off J first I got a goodnight kiss. Only on the cheek unfortunately.

That's the cheek on my face.

Yesterday I was ill. More ill than I have been in ages. I could feel it creeping up on me as I slept rather fitfully. About 7.30am I got up & threw up. At lunchtime I managed a piece of toast and a cuppa and at 8pm I managed a McDogs. I was supposed to be meeting up with some OG peeps in Manchester but had to decline. I was so gutted I couldn't go but hurrah hurrah they've arranged another one for November. And next time if my boss asks me if I wan't to go out the night before I'm saying NO.

Not unless she promises a proper goodnight snog anyway.