Silly signs, games and January sales

The canteen at work has little signs dotted around the office promoting events/foods etc. I was amused that they have a 'Bug of the Month' which is currently salmonella. I know its to raise awareness of food hygiene but the oddness of it just tickled me. I can't wait to find out what it is next month. E-coli? I'm amused by strange things sometimes and I can never explain exactly why they're funny. They just are. Like the trinkets on sale at a tacky souvenir shop in Torquay a few years ago, 'Pets in a Bag'. Little china models of cats/dogs etc but even more exciting because they're in a little fabric bag ???!!! There's also a sign I've just seen at Victoria train station, 'No Loitering' .... in a waiting room.

We've discovered a new game at work too. BT have a service set up where if you send a text message to a land line a nice posh lady reads it out to whoever picks up the phone. So of course much hilarity can be had sending sweary messages (the more offensive the better) to a mate at the next bank of desks. The sound of a posh bird saying 'Any of you fucking pricks move and I'll execute every mother-fucking last one of you' is just the funniest thing ever. Little Britain quotes work just as well although 'Eh eh ehhhhhh' really doesn't work at all. Be very careful though. Make sure you send it to someone with a sense of humour and that the correct person picks up the phone. I nearly came a cropper the other day when I sent a Little Britain quote to a chap I knew watched the programme and quoted it all the time (and was sat at a nearby bank of desks). It wasn't anything offensive but just as I sent the text he got another phone call so my message diverted to a woman sitting next to him. She looked quite perplexed, passed the phone to another woman who looked just as confused then walked over to one of the supervisors. Meanwhile the first woman had taken a note of my mobile number and called me back. I panicked and switched my mobile off too late to realise that the call would just divert to my answer phone which has a personalised message telling the caller who I am. My fellow subversives all found it hilarious of course. Fortunately I didn't get caught but it was a close one.

And I've been hitting the January sales like a demon. So far I've bought a box set of Duran Duran singles, a hooded top and a couple of T-shirts from Sainsburys and I've just got a Lambretta zip-up cardie reduced from £60 to £20. Add to that the weekend spent with Sarah clubbing in the gay village then having Sunday lunch in Via Fossa the next day and my bank balance is suffering slightly. Ah well, you can't take it with you as they say. And that meal in Via was bloody lovely. Its definitely my favourite pub in Manchester. Mostly due to the glorious gothic architechture and fittings inside (and its location in the gay village) but now because of the food too. Lamb & apricot pie with veg followed by gooey chocolate cake & cream. Orgasmic. I'm dribbling as I type.

Er, from my mouth that is.

Oh joy!

The computer at home is fucked again. At the moment im in one of those funky BT intrnet booths at Piccadilly station waiting for my friend Sarah to arrive - delayed due to the weather. These buttons arent any good for fast typing. Its like that scene in the Simpsons, "Im sorry, your fingers are too fat for the buttons. Please mash your hand on the keyboard.... now"

I lied

That's not it at all. I went to the theatre crowd party last night and it was ok apart from an infuriating game of Trivial Pursuit. Infuriating because most of the players were somewhat older and could barely read the questions let alone know the rules. One woman kept asking "Do we get a cheese now?" after every question. I gave up half way through and retreated to the kitchen with the other 'young uns' (all in our 30's).

I felt like a bit of an old fart myself though. I've got to a stage where I'm bored of drinking now. I'll have a can of lager or three but after that I lose interest. I like a nice glass of red wine though. I think what I mean to say is that I'm bored of getting drunk. Been there, done that etc. I was a bit of a party girl in my 20s but I just can't do it anymore. Unless I'm clubbing and I like to drink so that I can loosen up and have a good bop. Not that I go clubbing much.

Anyway, I had no trouble ordering a taxi and we swung by to pick my bro up from a party at his friend's. It was bliss to get back home and sit in my pjs with a cup of tea watching the telly.

Old fart indeed.

Happy New Year!

Erm, that's it really.