Oh and one last thing

Please do have a look at Scaryduck's blog (on my blogroll). In particular the post about inserting the phrase 'Done a poo' into various song titles. Childish but very funny.

And in other news...

As I said in my comment to Trin, I forgot to add some Smiths lyrics in my previous post. It must be the crap bus journey that's brought out the cynic in me tonight. So, if I'm being cynical about my lack of love life I'd have to go for,

"Last night I dreamed that somebody loved me. No hope, no harm, just another false alarm."

If I'm pissed off with a particular person its,

"Sweetness, sweetness I was only joking when I said by rights you should be bludgeoned in your bed."

And for when I'm pissed off at myself for being nice/polite to complete arseholes its,

"In my life, why do I smile at people who I'd much rather kick in the eye?"

Which actually reminds me of popping into the Co-op last night on the way to theatre and who should serve me but someone from school who I started out as friends with but then she decided to be a complete & utter c*nt to me. So of course, what do I do when she serves me but smile and say "Hiya!". Why why why why why? She smiled briefly but soon reverted back to being distant and aloof. I took comfort in the fact that she looks fucking haggard considering she's the same age as me and I'm frequently told I look 8 years younger than I actually am. Ha.

And just to end on something more positive, here's a link to the Phallic Symbol awards. From c*nts to penises in one easy step. Hurrah!

Nice & nasty

Met my mum after work tonight to go shopping in Matalan. I've never been and its just down the road from where I work so my mum suggested we go for a bit of retail therapy. I had a great time looking for some new clothes for work but all to no avail. All I came away with was two pairs of jeans. Well, I'm sick of wearing the same two pairs all the time. I did find a top for work but it was a bit too short & clingy and the trakky bottoms I picked up for slouching round the house in really clung in all the wrong places so I put them back. I then treated her to another Italian meal in Puccini's restaurant nearby. I wanted to treat her because I've just got my last pay cheque from my previous job and a rather large tax rebate so I'm rather flush this month. I also wanted to treat her because it would have been her & dad's wedding anniversary today and I wanted to cheer her up a bit. In fact I think that's why she chose today to go rather than any other Friday. To take her mind off it for a bit. Bro can be treated some other day (he wasn't home from work in time to come with us tonight).

So it was a nice evening apart from some chav twat getting on the bus as I was getting off who called me a fat c*nt as I pushed past him. I can't decide whether he was blind, stupid or just plain fucking ignorant as there was a crowd of people waiting to get on the bus with him so I didn't exactly have a lot of room to get off but also, just as I was stepping off, he decided to move right in front of me and try to get on. And I was buggered if I was going to move out of the way of the ignorant twat. I gave him a mouthful right back you'll be glad to hear. And I don't mean kisses. The bus home was also full of drunken screaming teenage chav knuckle draggers. Which was nice. I always go to the happy place in my head when this happens. The place that has lots of big guns and lax murder laws.

I reallyreallyreallyreallyreally must start the driving lessons again.

Well, whaddayaknow!

The Italian was a hit. Food great, service great (apart from being a little too eager to get us dessert) and the wine was great. No moaning from either Mum or Bro for once. Cool. So that's Ciao Napoli in Bolton added to the list of good restaurants.

Thanks to that VH1 great lyrics vote and a plethora of lyric quizzes on a webgroup I'm on I've been thinking alot about my favourite lyrics. I've always loved Sweet Child O Mine for its poetic verse such as...

"Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place where as a child I'd hide."

For her acid tonguedness (is that a word?) I give you Tori Amos...

"So you can make me come, that doesn't make you Jesus."

For sheer rudeness I give you Led Zeppelin...

"Squeeze my lemon baby, til the juice runs down my leg."

For dodgy metaphors I give you Duran Duran...

"Don't say you're easy on me. You're about as easy as a nuclear war."

For gender bending complexity, David Bowie...

"You've got your mother in a whirl. She's not sure if you're a boy or a girl."

And for insanity, Green Day...

"Do you have the time to listen to me whine about nothing and everything all at once? I am one of those melodramatic fools. Neurotic to the bone no doubt about it. Sometimes I give myself the creeps. Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me. It all keeps adding up. I think I'm cracking up. Am I just paranoid. I'm just stoned."

Hoaryscope (again)

Good grief! Have the psychics been reading my blog?

Today, dear Cancer, is a day to separate the wheat from the chaff. Or, in other words, to take a good long look at your relationships and decide who is a true friend and who is not. You are very loyal, which is certainly to your credit. But what is the point of being loyal to people who do not return the courtesy? You have given your so-called friends more than enough opportunities to demonstrate their affection. As difficult as it may be for you, it is time to let these relationships fall by the wayside. Look at it this way: this will free you up to spend more time with your true friends.

Anyhoo this is just a quick visit as I need to get changed to go out very soon. Me & bro are taking my mum for an Italian meal in town. I've picked the place as my mother asked but no doubt at the end of the meal they'll both decide its crap as nothing I pick is ever good enough.

Break out the champagne

Today was the last ever payment on my student loan. I am now almost debt free, er, apart from my credit card. I just need to work the same magic on that now. In honour of this I took a look at the racks of champagne in Tesco but was so befuddled by the different types that I didn't bother. Not that I'm a huge champers fan but it seemed the thing to do. Most of it is too dry and tastes of poo but at Paul Cornell's wedding a few years ago we had some that was lovely. I've been meaning to ask him what it was ever since but I've never got round to it. So Paul, if you're reading this.... what was it?

I've decided to meet the gang in Manchester tomorrow night and get pissed there instead. Oh and tonight I've had a celebratory bottle of Bud, Peanut Kit Kat Chunky and small packet of Haribo Starmix. God I know how to live.

In other fabulous news I've just spent a rather large wad of cash on tickets. 2 tix to see KT Tunstall in June and early Xmas pressies for my mum & bro - tix to see Acorn Antiques The Musical in December. I can honestly say that this is the earliest I have ever bought a Xmas pressie. So shoot me. ;)

Sweet, sweet beer

Isn't a cold beer just when you really want one absolutely delightful? I was a bit thirsty, bro asked me if I wanted a cup of tea but I didn't. Bro then asked if I wanted anything from the shop and I suddenly decided I wanted a nice cold bottle of Bud. So here I am supping on a cold one. Nectar. And I've just been reading some rather saucy CSI slash fic so my senses are somewhat, er, heightened as it is. Cold, delicious amber fluid gushing down the back of my throat. Oh goooooood! Heh, heh, heh.

I'm such a lazy cow at the mo. I've done bugger all this weekend apart from having a bit of a spending spree in M&S yesterday. A rather lovely pair of pjs, some saucy underwear and a black t-shirt was what I bought. I just wish I had someone to wear the saucy underwear for. Oops, there go my hormones again. So, yeah, laziness. I've developed a terrible habit on the weekends for getting up late. And I mean really late. I'm awake at a reasonable time but feel more content to lie there for a couple of hours or watch TV or read rather than actually get up & do something. I blame winter. I spend my weekdays like most people, turning off the alarm clock & hiding under the duvet from the inevitability of getting up & out in cold weather so that when it comes to the weekend I just want to languish like a spoiled tart. Trouble is I feel guilty for not getting up early enough to do something constructive. And what's worse is that the later I get up, the less time there is to do stuff and the quicker the weekend seems to go. And all too soon its Monday morning again and its raining & cold and I have to get up. Such is life. Next weekend I'll get up early. I promise.

Been thinking alot about friendships lately. About good ones & bad ones & who means what to me. About people I know well, or thought I knew, and people I barely know at all. One friend I've known for a very long time has given me cause to think alot lately. I've always got along fine with him but for the last few months he's been saying things that've made me question our friendship. Not directed at me. Casual racism & homophobia that I've either been oblivious to before or he's only just decided to say openly. And yes, he does know I'm gay. I know I should just cut him out of my life or at least tell him that I don't approve of his comments. So why haven't I? Why am I being such a chickenshit about it?

Another event that got me thinking was a meet up with a complete bunch of strangers a couple of weekends ago. Met one chap who I just hit it off with immediately and we were soon telling each other our secrets. A couple of other chaps there too who I got on with great. A bunch of other people arrived & suddenly I was back to my shy & introverted self. Like the past couple of hours had never happened. No-one did anything wrong but suddenly I felt out of my depth.

Then the other week I caused an online argument amongst a couple of my friends who are a lovely bunch of people. They were so lovely and supportive of me but it alarmed me that I'd inadvertently kicked something off. Thankfully it calmed down fairly quickly, no harm done.

To top it all, last weekend I went to another friend's party which started off ok but went a bit downhill towards the end. Most people there I didn't know very well. The only one I did know was the hostess who I've known for a very long time and we have a bit of a history. Not all of it good but to say its water under the bridge would be akin to saying Shakespeare was 'Old School'. Didn't stop her dragging it up again at the most perplexing of moments ie just when she was crying on my shoulder expecting me to sympathise. Add to that a couple of snide remarks over the evening and a less than sympathetic treatment of one of her other friends who is going though a very rough patch and I was left in no doubt as to who my real friends are.

I haven't drawn many conclusions from all this but I do know I was being silly for doubting myself as a consequence of the meet up with those complete strangers. I also have no doubt how far I've come, grown up & how much I've changed in 17 years. And most of all I've come to appreciate that the majority of my friends are absolutely wonderful and far outweigh the number of assholes I know. The most wonderful being my best friend Ingrid. To all of those wonderful friends I say a big heartfelt 'Thank You' and give my biggest, bone crushing bear hug.

You didn't see me, roight?

I'm avoiding someone. It involves money. I can't pay up. Hopefully the family can bail me out. They've been banging on the door all evening. Harder and harder each time. I think they know I'm in even though I'm pretending I'm not. I think they can see there's a light on. I daren't go out. I'm not sure I can even walk past the front door as its glass & they'll see me. Its not the first time I've done it. I can't hide up here forever though.

Fucking window cleaners.