Woo Who!

Today I have bought the new Dr Who series boxset with some vouchers I got for Xmas and I've just treated myself to a new pair of Doc Marten boots from an online store. I've been putting off buying new Docs for about a year now as I'd intended going down to London to get some cheap ones from Camden market. But as happens in life, the few times I went to London I didn't get the chance to go to Camden and now as the weather turns bad I'm less inclined to put up with a soggy left foot so I've stumped up my hard earned cash and bought a pair. £47 plus postage. Not too bad.

I must remember to wear my thermals and pack an umbrella for work on Tuesday. Yesterday morning the heating packed up so the office has been bloody freezing ever since. Fortunately they had a small stockpile of electric heaters so at least we could keep fairly warm. Unless we wanted to make a cup of tea/coffee or use the toilet that is. Even more fun was had today when the plumbers were trying to fix the heating. They were up in the roof above us & must have managed to get some water circulating. Unfortunately it was circulating in various burst pipes so we had several deluges of water from the ceiling to contend with. Nice. On the plus side our bosses decided to send us home early yesterday and today. Hurrah! Every water-sodden cloud has a silver lining.

Yeesh!

How long is it since I posted??!! Better get something down before I forget it all. Where to start though?

Panto
Went pretty well despite the odd forgotten line and the old white curtain having a bit of a mishap. My Dr Who fan mates came to watch on the Friday night and loved the Dr Who skit we had in the second act. Its just a pity they left it too late to get tickets for the last performance where I played a Who related prank on the director. There was an inserted scene in act two where the comedy double act went on dressed as Tom Baker & Chris Ecclescake to a TARDIS sound effect and a marvellous cardboard prop TARDIS. The director, Ian, who is a fan and was dressed as Tom went to the front of the stage & threw jelly babies out to the audience & then there followed numerous bad jokes about being grabbed by the Autons etc. Well, on the last night I borrowed a gas mask and a duffle coat from one of the cast and went on behind them. Ian was dutifully throwing out the sweets oblivious to me sneaking up behind him. Well, apart from the audience shouting "Its behind you!" at the top of their lungs. He turned to see what they were referring to and jumped about three feet in the air. Fair shit himself he did. Oh how I laughed. I tried saying "Are you my mummy?" but unfortunately it was lost under the gas mask. Never mind, eh?

It wasn't the only prank that night. At one point the same duo did this thing where they shot the Crazy Frog (or at least a cardboard cut out of it). They'd bugged the ASM, Val, so much about it that she stapled a couple of rancid kippers to it just where Paul would have to hold it. The custard pies in the cooking scene were twice the size they usually were and for good measure, the remaining kippers were chopped up & put in two of them to catch out the lad playing the villain (who had them thrust in his face at the end of the scene). I'm not sure who was laughing more, the cast or the audience.

Later on we had the obligatory cast piss-up downstairs which culminated with half a dozen of us drunkenly singing Bohemian Rhapsody at 3am accompanied by Martin on his marvellous organ.

Work
As gorgeous as usual. We had our Xmas do on the Wednesday night before Xmas. I wasn't exactly gripped with enthusiasm but there was a bonus in that Fat Slag wouldn't be there. Hurrah! It turned out ok apart from a very dodgy Kylie & Robbie Williams tribute act. Neither of them looked or sounded like K&R but at least Robbie could sing. 'Kylie' had thighs that could crush a tin can and sounded like the chicks from the Human League on a bad day. Ouch! Still, I did find out that yet another member of our team loathes Fat Slag, someone who I thought was quite matey with her. Not the case apparently. Fab. What was not fab was trying to work the next day after only four hours sleep. Nightmare.

Christmas
Was a quiet one again this year. Spent Thursday night in Manchester with my SF fan mates, having our annual Xmas get together in a nice smoke-free environment. Not much to report except that spookily, who should walk past the window of the pub opposite the town hall but Russell T Davies.

Bro & I went to Mum's on Saturday where we spent the festive weekend eating & watching telly. No party this year as Mum's friend had gone on a Caribbean cruise. I got a box set of Hitchcock films, three pairs of Totes Toasties socks, a herb growing kit (which looks scarily complicated for something I thought would be piss easy), various smelly things (nice smelly that is) and two CSI novels, one of which I've read already.

Telly
Highlight of the festive season has been the BBC's ghost stories for Xmas - a series of MR James adaptations and a couple of films & documentaries on MR James & the history of the ghost story. Very creepy and atmospheric & just the antidote to the endless run of Xmas songs & sickly sweet family films you get this time of year. Which reminds me of something regarding the panto.....

...I think I've mentioned previously that the theatre our group meets in is haunted. I've seen the ghost and Martin the music guy has also seen it. Ian the director likes to go up on stage before a show and before the audience comes in, presumably to clear his head & pray the performance goes well. Apparently, on the Saturday night before the last panto performance, he was having a bit of a pace around when he heard footsteps walking across the front of the stage between the outer red curtain & the inner white one. There's about three feet between them & if someone walks in front or behind the white curtain it billows outwards. Well, billow it did & Ian immediately went to see who else was on stage. Except that no-one was there. And no-one had walked past him.

Eep!

Sniffle

Ouchy, I've got a very sore throat and I'm coughing like I've got bird flu. Yet another cold to contend with. Shower me with sympathy and ice-cream please...

What's that noise?

As I'm sitting here typing there's a strange noise coming from outside. It sounds rather like someone is bricking up the front door. That'd make for an interesting conversation with my boss tomorrow morning. "Erm, sorry I can't come in today. I've been hermetically sealed into the house."

Things are afoot in other parts of Bolton too. There's a church opposite the train station that, as of this morning, has been sealed off with police tape and this evening I noticed one of those white tents round the back. It looks like there's been a murder. I haven't seen anything about it on the local news though. Odd. What I did discover is that Cracker is making a comeback and some of it is being filmed near Bolton so I wonder if that was it? Didn't see any cameras or film trucks though. As Toyah would say, "Its a mystery!".

Burn baby burn

I've just spent a thoroughly enjoyable 15 minutes ritualistically setting fire to a Christmas card that Fat Slag sent me. Twee just like her, it featured a fairy with a fluffy skirt. Now you'd think it'd go up fairly quickly but it took me nearly half a box of matches to obliterate it completely. Ahhh the satisfaction. Why would you send a christmas card to someone you'd relished treating like shit for the best part of a year? Does she think it'd make it all alright? Two faced twat. On entering the office this morning after having a few days holiday I noticed a new Christmas tree with a pink fluffy star on top. I immediately thought that FS would've had something to do with it & guess what...? Yep, she chose it. Wonder how many matches it'd take to send it to the fiery pit of hell?