A break or two

Am having to disappear for a while as the 'Nice girl' police are onto me. They've heard a rumour that I'm not very nice at all. I drink, swear, do rude things and didn't do the washing up last Tuesday. Thank god they haven't found out about my fare dodging on the Metrolink last year. I'd be going daaaaahhhn!

But really there's been a bit of a family crisis. My mum fell on Saturday and broke her arm near the shoulder. We didn't think it was too bad other than being inconvenient for her, and I was all set to come home today after staying with her since Sunday. However, at her appointment with the fracture clinic this morning they found that she'd damaged her ball & socket shoulder joint as well so they've put her in a new sling to immobilise it even more. Which means she'll find it even more difficult to do stuff like dress herself so I'm staying with her for a couple of weeks until her next clinic appointment. No Sky digi and no internet. How will I cope? I've already come dangerously close to watching Last of the Summer Wine.

And that is a bad situation to be in.

I did bond with my mum over the gardening yesterday though. She wanted some snapdragons planting before they suffered so she had me down on my knees doing that. I thought that'd be it but she soon had me planting up pots and hanging baskets too. She said she'll have me at Chelsea yet.

Anyway, toodle pip and I'll see you in a week or two.

Anger epilogue

I decided to send a nasty email to the perpetrator which isn't like me at all really but I was just so mad that the sad twat insulted me on a group then kicked me off when I gave him some back that I just had to vent. And vent I did. Rest assured humble readers that this is a one off. I'm really a very nice girl (lady? woman?) and would never normally do such a thing. Well, apart from the time I joined a group specifically to post a pic of a man with a small penis, saying that it was a pic of this chap who'd been really, consistently nasty to and about a very lovely friend of mine. But that was an isolated incident too. Erm.....

Please tell me I'm not a bad person.

Please?

Guilt, anger, fear and shame

Guilt and shame

I've had the last 2 days off work (other than today obv) and have done nothing, nada, nicto. I'm kidding myself that its a money thing but it really isn't. I'm not usually such a lazy cow, I'm quite pro-active. I'll make sure I get up & go out somewhere or do something worthwhile but this time I haven't. All I've done is doze, watch telly and eat. And it was such a lovely day yesterday. I've needed a rest after the play which was on this last week but I'm not *that* tired. What's wrong with me? I couldn't even be bothered blogging. I tried to make up for it yesterday by doing some washing & cleaning the kitchen but it didn't make me feel any better. I need to make an effort with the remaining couple of days off til I go back to work. Particularly doing some prep work for the one act play I'm directing which brings me neatly to...

Fear

Ye gods what do I get myself into? I agreed to direct this play as I was struck by inspiration at the time of reading it but now I'm quaking in my boots. There were problems casting the male parts as most people are on holiday during the rehearsal period. I suggested someone in particular but in the vain hope that no-one would take me up on it but they have!!! Its not that he's a bad actor - far from it - but he's a veteran of the group and there's a certain amount of ego involved. I don't want him to camp it up or mug too much but I'm afraid that thats exactly what he's going to do. I'm also scared that I just can't cut the mustard. Its the first proper play I've ever directed ie with a paying audience other than odd little bits of plays at college. But those were only seen by teachers & other students. For free. It'll help that my best mate is playing the other female role (I'm playing the main one) and I know she'll give me so much support but it doesn't assuage my fear. Maybe once a couple of rehearsals are in the bag I'll be ok...

Anger

It seems I've been kicked off a Yahoo group. A particularly sad individual, who happens to be a moderator of the group posted an incomprehensible message that didn't actually have a point other than to insult someone about their weight. I was the first to give a response - literally a 'What was the point of that?' reply to which said knob head told me to get a life if I can't laugh at such stuff. I wasn't the only person to protest at the insult. I responded by saying that if getting a life meant putting up with pathetic insults like that then I'd do without and left it at that. I've gone back into my account today and it looks like I've been kicked off. What a pathetic loser. Other than him they all seemed to be rational, likeable adults. I'm loathe to just leave it at that but what can I do? Well, I have done something. Lets just say there's more than one way to skin a cat. What do do from there though? Email him personally (and it won't be a pleasant one)? Email the other mods/group owners? Answers on a postcard please....

In the bathroom, no-one can hear you howl...

I did a very stupid thing this morning. Its that play's fault. I'm really knackered this week, what with rehearsing practically every night and doing a full time job so when I carried out my morning ablutions I was half asleep. I've been advised again not to wash my hair so that its easier to put in a 50's style. Now, I usually do it every day as I can't stand feeling greasy and skanky if I don't and it seems I've underestimated how much it wakes me up of a morning. Today I didn't bother and went straight into cleaning my teeth, slapping some deodorant on and putting my contact lenses in which involves rinsing them in saline after they've been in the solution all night. Only instead of rinsing in saline I rinsed in fresh solution (like a mild bleach), promptly put my right lens in and AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! my eye was on fire. I desperately tried to open my eye & pluck the lens out to no avail so I did the only other thing I could think of and started squirting as much saline in my eye as is humanly possible. It worked. After a while the flames calmed to a burning ember and I could get the lens out. Bastard bugger fuck! To cut a long story short I finally got into work at 10am having spent part of the morning calming myself down and attempting to get my vision back.

I rang my optitian who wasn't in but a nice lady locum assured me that I hadn't done any permanent damage and that it was a very common mistake (apparently everyone who wears contact lenses does this at one time or another). Its really saying something that I was more relieved at the latter. So its ok for me to be blind as long as I don't feel like an idiot.

Anyways, my eye is now a gorgeous shade of red and will be for the next couple of days probably. At least I'm playing a battered wife in the play so if my eye swells shut the audience will just think its really good make-up. I've just had a fabulous shower and washed my hair. Bugger the styling.

Cock off

The following can all just cock off;

Paris Hilton
George Lucas and his new Star Wars films
Work and all the people associated with it
Jordan and Peter Andre
Michael Winner

Fade to blah

Just heard Kelly Osbourne's new single on the Jonathan Ross show and I have to say that its just a blatant rip off of Fade to Grey by Visage. Is there no originality in the music industry these days?

Last night was our works 'closing down' do. The office isn't actually closing down imminently but I guess that they decided to do it now while most people are still there. I only stayed a couple of hours as is usual for me at works nights out. I don't exactly know why but I don't feel totally comfortable with them. I can happily go to parties with friends from the theatre group or my gang of sci-fi mates, even the people I used to work with in my previous job but this lot just don't do it for me. I think it may have something to do with the fact that I find it quite a bitchy office filled with ignorant bastards who think they're better than everyone else. But that's not true of all of them. There are some genuinely nice people who I get on with there. I was thinking about it last night and figured it was because I really don't feel I have anything in common with them. We're just not on the same level (if that doesn't sound arrogant). Part of the problem was that it was absolutely packed in there as well and I was feeling very claustrophobic, getting jostled & elbowed, and just wanted some fresh air. Its really saying something when the best place to be is the toilet, eh? It was fairly easy to slip out relatively unnoticed thanks to the large crowd. I just grabbed my jacket & made a run for it. Fresh air never felt so good. The first thing I did when I got home was put the kettle on. Then got changed into my jammies. Bliss.

Obligatory MH post

Its become a source of annoyance for me now that Most Haunted have eschewed the historical aspects of the show for ghostly stunts like Derek becoming possessed. I know its a show about ghosts but part of the interest for me comes from learning the historical background of the places they visit. The intros for the different locations hardly give you any info at all now and they rarely cut to historian Richard Jones to back up Derek's psychic details. It took them the better part of an hour to cut to Richard to confirm that Alexander Korda was a famous film director. Talking of which... David Bull hasn't been out much has he? "Who is Alexander Korda?". What next? "Who is Alfred Hitchcock?" Wonder if Derek will pick up on Hitch's ghost this weekend. He did film at Elstree. "I'm getting the conditions of a portly gentleman... has a thing about blondes... and I'm getting birds, lots of birds...and neckties...." I didn't realise how many of my favourite films & TV programmes were filmed at Elstree. Aliens, Night of the Demon, The Avengers etc. Too many to list 'em all.

Happiness will prevail

This absolute shitting bastard of a computer. I've just typed a longish post & the damn thing rebooted itself & lost it all. So here we go again.

Had some great news this afternoon that my best friend has finally got the promotion she's been after for a year. Her bosses have messed her around so much but now they've finally seen sense. I've been into town after work to get her a card & mini bottle of champers & was walking round M&S with a silly grin on my face. I'm so happy for her.

I was rather bored on Sunday having been a lazy git on Saturday so I trundled up to Blackburn for a trip out. When I got there I realised I could get another bus to a little village called Hoghton and more specifically to Hoghton Tower which is an old manor house I've been wanting to go to for years. sadly, by the time I got there it was a bit late in the afternoon so I just had a little walk & got the bus back home. Yesterday I switched on the local news to hear that the previous day (Monday) Hoghton had been hit by a tornado! If only I'd gone a day later I would have seen it. Talk about gutted. I have a slight obsession with storms & tornados & would really love to see one (providing I was safe of course). So near and yet so far.

Instead, I was in Bakewell soaking up the sun and the puddings. It was packed but lovely and while I couldn't be arsed walking to castle hill I did manage to go to the parish church where they had a stunning display of anglo-saxon carved stones in the porch. I was in awe. I even braved the crowds to buy a bakewell pudding from one of the original pudding shops. Mmmmmmm. There's a quarter of it left downstairs and I can hear it calling to me now.

Oh and yes I did give my brother a piece.